Today I was righted by an email sent to me containing the following quote from Pepe le Pew,
"Love, she is a grand, no?"
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
The Ghost of Christmas Past
It took me three (THREE!) days of trying to finally get home from visiting my family over Christmas. #*%$@!* airlines! It was three days of numerous trips to various airports, numerous phone calls to numerous airlines, numerous possible connection flights, to numerous arrival destinations from numerous possible departure cities. My mother's best friend said to me, "My half sister, whose crazy, always says to me in times like this that it must be for a reason." Of course, I like the thought of there being a good reason....
On my final attempt I made it home via a connection in Salt Lake where I saw in the airport for the first time in five years the last man who broke my heart (who also holds the special distinction of being the only one to have ever broken it twice.) Well, as far as "reasons" go- I find this one to be... undesirable. I find it has that, "of all the gin joints in all the world" quality to it.
He is the only man (as of yet) that I could see myself marrying, spending the rest of my life with, however, he is not one of the one's who actually asked. He's been far better suited to me than all the others put together. He made me laugh so hard- the way my brother used to when I was little when my Kool-Aid would come out of my nose. He was bright, clever, talented, and sexy. I am a vegetarian without a television- a freak basically. Him too. Oh, and he was the absolute perfect mix of sweet & dirty. He would always open the car door for me first which I usually find a bit much, but when he'd come over to open the door he'd always press me up against it.
In the old days this would've been written on paper & when you got to this point of reading it you would've been able to see that I had started to cry by the tear stains on the page.
When he came back to break my heart the second time I think it had been three years since he had done it the first time. It was not for a lack of trying that neither one us quite got over the other. I was very skeptical of him the second time. I consulted my "advisers," and he fooled each & every one of us straight across the board that time- even the most cynical & skeptical believed him sincere, believed he deserved the second chance. ...and I think that it is poignant to mention that he was gone again even before all the flowers that he had brought when he first came back had died.
So, I was in the airport in Salt Lake City. I had never been there before & I had just come from taking in the spectacular view of the mountains out the window. I had been up all night. I was standing in front of the gate, but out farther -out of the way. I'm not a big sitter & flying is already waaaay too much sitting for me that I don't like to sit during the lay overs. I was staring off into the abyss when I couldn't help but notice that inches away from my face passed that man that I had loved so much. It is much more likely than not that he saw me first, but he passed. Right then my "zone" was called to board. He and his very significant other were boarding in front of me with only one person between us. He was cradling her in front of him as they walked. It is a strange sight to behold one who used to touch you- touching someone else. She really loves him. I could very clearly see that on her face. Of course, I cannot blame her. I didn't say anything then, because it didn't seem right to interrupt. Also, what does one say at that point? "Remember I told you that I never wanted to hear from you ever again? I've never really loved anyone the way that I loved you. Yeah, so how are you? Crazy weather- huh?"
I was afraid that we were going to be seated next to one another, but thankfully they turned out to be many many many rows behind me. I was glad (really glad) not to have been really upset by it all. I know that it's been all these years, but when I do fall- I fall. I slept next to another man nearly every night for two years- never fell in love with him. Not even almost. That probably sounds wrong, but for whatever its worth, it was a really long time ago. I seem to have a big heart with very tight security.
We landed & I de-planed. Even though I had a good head start off of the plane I ended up passing him anyway. And when I had to pass mere inches from his face I said, "Hi." He turned and acted surprised when he said, "Hi," which made me certain that he had, in fact, seen me prior to that. I didn't stop. It was too awkward & probably just too unhealthy for everyone involved for me to have stopped. She looked at me curiously, and I doubted that he would tell her who I really was when she asked.
Long ago he even wrote a song about me. Right around that same time the one previous to him was doing a painting of me, and since then another has written a poem. I have realized that it is past time for this muse to put her own inspiration into her own art.
I thought that I had managed it well at the airports. Until today. The old wound seems to be festering a bit. Maybe, heartache is an injury that will always be a little sore if you press on it.
I do admit that I don't entirely like the idea that he could love her more than me, but more than that I hate the idea that he could call me to say the opposite. I worried that that could happen. That woman with that look of love upon her face- I wish her better than what I got.
On my final attempt I made it home via a connection in Salt Lake where I saw in the airport for the first time in five years the last man who broke my heart (who also holds the special distinction of being the only one to have ever broken it twice.) Well, as far as "reasons" go- I find this one to be... undesirable. I find it has that, "of all the gin joints in all the world" quality to it.
He is the only man (as of yet) that I could see myself marrying, spending the rest of my life with, however, he is not one of the one's who actually asked. He's been far better suited to me than all the others put together. He made me laugh so hard- the way my brother used to when I was little when my Kool-Aid would come out of my nose. He was bright, clever, talented, and sexy. I am a vegetarian without a television- a freak basically. Him too. Oh, and he was the absolute perfect mix of sweet & dirty. He would always open the car door for me first which I usually find a bit much, but when he'd come over to open the door he'd always press me up against it.
In the old days this would've been written on paper & when you got to this point of reading it you would've been able to see that I had started to cry by the tear stains on the page.
When he came back to break my heart the second time I think it had been three years since he had done it the first time. It was not for a lack of trying that neither one us quite got over the other. I was very skeptical of him the second time. I consulted my "advisers," and he fooled each & every one of us straight across the board that time- even the most cynical & skeptical believed him sincere, believed he deserved the second chance. ...and I think that it is poignant to mention that he was gone again even before all the flowers that he had brought when he first came back had died.
So, I was in the airport in Salt Lake City. I had never been there before & I had just come from taking in the spectacular view of the mountains out the window. I had been up all night. I was standing in front of the gate, but out farther -out of the way. I'm not a big sitter & flying is already waaaay too much sitting for me that I don't like to sit during the lay overs. I was staring off into the abyss when I couldn't help but notice that inches away from my face passed that man that I had loved so much. It is much more likely than not that he saw me first, but he passed. Right then my "zone" was called to board. He and his very significant other were boarding in front of me with only one person between us. He was cradling her in front of him as they walked. It is a strange sight to behold one who used to touch you- touching someone else. She really loves him. I could very clearly see that on her face. Of course, I cannot blame her. I didn't say anything then, because it didn't seem right to interrupt. Also, what does one say at that point? "Remember I told you that I never wanted to hear from you ever again? I've never really loved anyone the way that I loved you. Yeah, so how are you? Crazy weather- huh?"
I was afraid that we were going to be seated next to one another, but thankfully they turned out to be many many many rows behind me. I was glad (really glad) not to have been really upset by it all. I know that it's been all these years, but when I do fall- I fall. I slept next to another man nearly every night for two years- never fell in love with him. Not even almost. That probably sounds wrong, but for whatever its worth, it was a really long time ago. I seem to have a big heart with very tight security.
We landed & I de-planed. Even though I had a good head start off of the plane I ended up passing him anyway. And when I had to pass mere inches from his face I said, "Hi." He turned and acted surprised when he said, "Hi," which made me certain that he had, in fact, seen me prior to that. I didn't stop. It was too awkward & probably just too unhealthy for everyone involved for me to have stopped. She looked at me curiously, and I doubted that he would tell her who I really was when she asked.
Long ago he even wrote a song about me. Right around that same time the one previous to him was doing a painting of me, and since then another has written a poem. I have realized that it is past time for this muse to put her own inspiration into her own art.
I thought that I had managed it well at the airports. Until today. The old wound seems to be festering a bit. Maybe, heartache is an injury that will always be a little sore if you press on it.
I do admit that I don't entirely like the idea that he could love her more than me, but more than that I hate the idea that he could call me to say the opposite. I worried that that could happen. That woman with that look of love upon her face- I wish her better than what I got.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
e.e.
who knows if the moon's
a balloon,coming out of a keen city
in the sky- filled with pretty people?
(and if you and i should
get into it,if they
should take me and take you into their balloon,
why then
we'd go up higher with all the pretty people
than houses and steeples and clouds:
go sailing
away and away sailing into a keen
city which nobody's ever visited,where
always
it's
Spring) and everyone's
in love and flowers pick themselves
-e.e. cummings
...where always it's Spring and everyone's in love and flowers pick themselves
beautiful.
a balloon,coming out of a keen city
in the sky- filled with pretty people?
(and if you and i should
get into it,if they
should take me and take you into their balloon,
why then
we'd go up higher with all the pretty people
than houses and steeples and clouds:
go sailing
away and away sailing into a keen
city which nobody's ever visited,where
always
it's
Spring) and everyone's
in love and flowers pick themselves
-e.e. cummings
...where always it's Spring and everyone's in love and flowers pick themselves
beautiful.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Perilous Panties
Where to begin? Perhaps, I was the last to hear of this, and you all have already worked through it. It was on the Today Show last month. I never see the Today show as
1. I do not own a television, &
2. I am not awake at that time of morning, & probably
3. It is very likely that the Today Show is just not my cup of tea- though I couldn't say for sure.
Here is the link: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/25258522/
So, this woman was injured while putting on her pale blue lacy thong panties, & if that just isn't enough of a story in and of itself- she is suing Victoria's Secret over the incident! Faulty panties. Truly amazing.
And there she is on the Today Show displaying the panties in question (Exhibit A- if you will,) and also what seemed to me to be more cleavage than is common for a morning show. She talked about how her thong panties broke & sent a metal "staple" shooting into her eye causing (as her attorney said) "not one, not two, but three actual cuts to her cornea." Totally incredible.
Now, I am sorry that this woman sustained not one, not two, but three actual cuts to her cornea, and I'm also sorry that her cute panties with the metal rhinestone encrusted heart broke. But, the world can be a dangerous place. Granted wearing skimpy lacy thong panties with sharp metal hardware on them is, maybe not, the most renegade thing you could do, but they are clearly not the sturdiest safest panties. Most everybody's mother would consider it, "Your own damn fault for buying those stupid things in the first place- what did you expect when you're wearing a metal loaded sling shot on your privates?!" This woman is a traffic cop in L.A. It wouldn't be unreasonable to expect her to be a bit tougher & more comfortable with danger than the rest of the pale blue metal heart lacy thong wearing crowd.
My father doesn't believe in suing anybody for anything. *side note: doesn't believe in Santa either. He does believe that life is inherently unfair, that there are dangers aplenty, & a considerable amount of nit-wits in this world. I am so tempted to talk with him about this lawsuit just to hear what he'd have to say, because I know it would be so good! But I fear that giving it even the slightest ponder would cause his head to explode. He would not be able to enjoy the ridiculousness of it- the ridiculousness of it would piss him off significantly. I, however, tend to revel in the ridiculous.
Then there's the bit that here is this woman injured by her own thong panties telling her story, showing her face, her decolletage, and her broken lacy thong panties in the morning on NATIONAL TELEVISION! This is soooo not the kind of thing that you'd ordinarily want a lot of people to know about. Even wanting a large number of people to have a look at your thong is generally considered pretty questionable behavior. This is the kind of story that you tell to a very small selective group of girlfriends after you've all had a couple of cocktails & it makes your friend, Gina, laugh so hard at what a jackass you are that her Bacardi Limon comes out her nose.
1. I do not own a television, &
2. I am not awake at that time of morning, & probably
3. It is very likely that the Today Show is just not my cup of tea- though I couldn't say for sure.
Here is the link: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/25258522/
So, this woman was injured while putting on her pale blue lacy thong panties, & if that just isn't enough of a story in and of itself- she is suing Victoria's Secret over the incident! Faulty panties. Truly amazing.
And there she is on the Today Show displaying the panties in question (Exhibit A- if you will,) and also what seemed to me to be more cleavage than is common for a morning show. She talked about how her thong panties broke & sent a metal "staple" shooting into her eye causing (as her attorney said) "not one, not two, but three actual cuts to her cornea." Totally incredible.
Now, I am sorry that this woman sustained not one, not two, but three actual cuts to her cornea, and I'm also sorry that her cute panties with the metal rhinestone encrusted heart broke. But, the world can be a dangerous place. Granted wearing skimpy lacy thong panties with sharp metal hardware on them is, maybe not, the most renegade thing you could do, but they are clearly not the sturdiest safest panties. Most everybody's mother would consider it, "Your own damn fault for buying those stupid things in the first place- what did you expect when you're wearing a metal loaded sling shot on your privates?!" This woman is a traffic cop in L.A. It wouldn't be unreasonable to expect her to be a bit tougher & more comfortable with danger than the rest of the pale blue metal heart lacy thong wearing crowd.
My father doesn't believe in suing anybody for anything. *side note: doesn't believe in Santa either. He does believe that life is inherently unfair, that there are dangers aplenty, & a considerable amount of nit-wits in this world. I am so tempted to talk with him about this lawsuit just to hear what he'd have to say, because I know it would be so good! But I fear that giving it even the slightest ponder would cause his head to explode. He would not be able to enjoy the ridiculousness of it- the ridiculousness of it would piss him off significantly. I, however, tend to revel in the ridiculous.
Then there's the bit that here is this woman injured by her own thong panties telling her story, showing her face, her decolletage, and her broken lacy thong panties in the morning on NATIONAL TELEVISION! This is soooo not the kind of thing that you'd ordinarily want a lot of people to know about. Even wanting a large number of people to have a look at your thong is generally considered pretty questionable behavior. This is the kind of story that you tell to a very small selective group of girlfriends after you've all had a couple of cocktails & it makes your friend, Gina, laugh so hard at what a jackass you are that her Bacardi Limon comes out her nose.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Bastille Day
Today is Bastille Day.
It has become common to eat corned beef & cabbage whilst drinking Guinness & Irish whiskey on St. Patrick's Day. Of course, Cinco de Mayo is a wonderful reason to have margaritas & tacos. So, today I say- what better excuse to drink champagne, french kiss, and eat cake?!
Ooo la la, Bastille Day!!!
It has become common to eat corned beef & cabbage whilst drinking Guinness & Irish whiskey on St. Patrick's Day. Of course, Cinco de Mayo is a wonderful reason to have margaritas & tacos. So, today I say- what better excuse to drink champagne, french kiss, and eat cake?!
Ooo la la, Bastille Day!!!
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Zebra Painted Burros
As part of the San Diego leg of a family vacation we took a day trip to Tijuana, Mexico. I was 12 years old. Granted the list of things that I'd never seen before that day is rather long, but at least as astonishing as anything else were the zebra painted burros. There were burros on the street corners painted like zebras, & you could pay to have your photo taken with one. Well, you could if you had different parents than I had. I don't know how much it cost. It was a "tourist trap," but so is Sea World, and we did go there. So, I'm not sure what the exact reasoning was. Did they not want to contribute to the more than questionable zebra painting of burros? They paid money to see captive mammals trained to literally jump through hoops for dead fish. I've never hosted an open forum involving both a zebra painted burro & an orca held in captivity to find out what their thoughts were on living conditions, quality of life, etc. *If there are any zebra painted burros or captive orcas reading this & you'd like to have your voices heard...
Not infrequently I will bring up the idea of liberating one of these zebra painted burros. I have discussed it at length with one of my friends, Steve. (Somehow I have a lot of friends named Steve.) The burro wouldn't have to work here, but if they wouldn't mind I would super appreciate it if they'd like to come down to the beach with me & carry my chair, umbrella, etc. I don't like to carry stuff.
I've also discussed at length with the same Steve how I'd really like to find a Sherpa fed up with that harsh Himalayan climate who would like to move here & help me schlep stuff. I'd offer him a place indoors, but he would much prefer to sleep in a tent out in the fresh air. Not sure what the zebra painted burro's preference would be. The Sherpa would come with me to Trader Joe's. He'd push the cart, and fill it with boxes of Tofutti Cuties, because he loves those. He would adopt a new wardrobe for the friendlier climate- Hawaiian shirts, long shorts, Birkenstocks (with socks in the colder months,) but he'd still wear his Sherpa hat with the ear flaps- unless he was bodysurfing, of course.
Not infrequently I will bring up the idea of liberating one of these zebra painted burros. I have discussed it at length with one of my friends, Steve. (Somehow I have a lot of friends named Steve.) The burro wouldn't have to work here, but if they wouldn't mind I would super appreciate it if they'd like to come down to the beach with me & carry my chair, umbrella, etc. I don't like to carry stuff.
I've also discussed at length with the same Steve how I'd really like to find a Sherpa fed up with that harsh Himalayan climate who would like to move here & help me schlep stuff. I'd offer him a place indoors, but he would much prefer to sleep in a tent out in the fresh air. Not sure what the zebra painted burro's preference would be. The Sherpa would come with me to Trader Joe's. He'd push the cart, and fill it with boxes of Tofutti Cuties, because he loves those. He would adopt a new wardrobe for the friendlier climate- Hawaiian shirts, long shorts, Birkenstocks (with socks in the colder months,) but he'd still wear his Sherpa hat with the ear flaps- unless he was bodysurfing, of course.
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