Perilous Panties

Where to begin? Perhaps, I was the last to hear of this, and you all have already worked through it. It was on the Today Show last month. I never see the Today show as
1. I do not own a television, &
2. I am not awake at that time of morning, & probably
3. It is very likely that the Today Show is just not my cup of tea- though I couldn't say for sure.
Here is the link: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/25258522/

So, this woman was injured while putting on her pale blue lacy thong panties, & if that just isn't enough of a story in and of itself- she is suing Victoria's Secret over the incident! Faulty panties. Truly amazing.

And there she is on the Today Show displaying the panties in question (Exhibit A- if you will,) and also what seemed to me to be more cleavage than is common for a morning show. She talked about how her thong panties broke & sent a metal "staple" shooting into her eye causing (as her attorney said) "not one, not two, but three actual cuts to her cornea." Totally incredible.

Now, I am sorry that this woman sustained not one, not two, but three actual cuts to her cornea, and I'm also sorry that her cute panties with the metal rhinestone encrusted heart broke. But, the world can be a dangerous place. Granted wearing skimpy lacy thong panties with sharp metal hardware on them is, maybe not, the most renegade thing you could do, but they are clearly not the sturdiest safest panties. Most everybody's mother would consider it, "Your own damn fault for buying those stupid things in the first place- what did you expect when you're wearing a metal loaded sling shot on your privates?!" This woman is a traffic cop in L.A. It wouldn't be unreasonable to expect her to be a bit tougher & more comfortable with danger than the rest of the pale blue metal heart lacy thong wearing crowd.

My father doesn't believe in suing anybody for anything. *side note: doesn't believe in Santa either. He does believe that life is inherently unfair, that there are dangers aplenty, & a considerable amount of nit-wits in this world. I am so tempted to talk with him about this lawsuit just to hear what he'd have to say, because I know it would be so good! But I fear that giving it even the slightest ponder would cause his head to explode. He would not be able to enjoy the ridiculousness of it- the ridiculousness of it would piss him off significantly. I, however, tend to revel in the ridiculous.

Then there's the bit that here is this woman injured by her own thong panties telling her story, showing her face, her decolletage, and her broken lacy thong panties in the morning on NATIONAL TELEVISION! This is soooo not the kind of thing that you'd ordinarily want a lot of people to know about. Even wanting a large number of people to have a look at your thong is generally considered pretty questionable behavior. This is the kind of story that you tell to a very small selective group of girlfriends after you've all had a couple of cocktails & it makes your friend, Gina, laugh so hard at what a jackass you are that her Bacardi Limon comes out her nose.